


I can see clearly now

by melodiousoblivion



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Family, Friendship, fight me, madi is bellarke's kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-14 02:57:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17500253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melodiousoblivion/pseuds/melodiousoblivion
Summary: 6 years after they left Clarke behind, SpaceKru returns to find Clarke alive and thriving. Bellamy doesn't know how to cope.No eligius, no becho.





	I can see clearly now

When Raven first saw Clarke again, with her hair cut short and pink streaks, as well as a child hanging on her leg, her first thought was of Bellamy.

 

How could it not be when they had just spent 6 years together in a very small space? It had been her and Murphy who took shifts sleeping on Bellamy’s floor for the first 6 months, two hours on and two hours off, making sure he was safe. She had watched his entire heart and soul be torn out as they descended into space, and never thought that it could be thriving on the ground.

 

And then she realized that her best friend was here, and alive and that Raven could hug her, feeling Clarke’s arms wrap around her, strong and warm and so alive. Monty and Harper were full out sobbing, and Murphy even was teary eyed. Emori hugged Clarke and Echo and her grasped arms, a greeting amongst warriors. Bellamy stood in the door of the ship, his body radiating tension. Clarke introduced Raven to Madi, a girl who couldn’t have been older than 6. Madi looks up at her with wide, sky blue eyes and begins firing off questions about space while Clarke walks towards Bellamy.

 

They don’t touch, standing an arms length away from each other, and Raven can see that Bellamy is just drinking her in. He had found her photo from when she was in SkyBox, when her face was fuller and her eyes less guarded, and he had spent days just gazing at it. When he had to make the hard decisions he would disappear to the control room, and Raven would find him pacing in front of a hologram of her photo, talking through the problem as though she was there.

 

Clarke reached one hand up, tentative, and cupped Bellamy’s cheek, her thumb tracing the sharp relief of his cheekbone. He flinched almost imperceptibly, and she drew her hand back.

 

“That’s Bellamy, right?” Madi piped up, looking at Clarke and Bellamy inquisitively, “Mama drew him, she drew all of you.” 

“Yeah, that’s Bellamy.” Raven looked at Madi once again, taking in the cut of the jawline (like the girl in the bunker who had once lived in the floor), her thick eyebrows and unruly brown hair (like the hundred and first member of the drop ship) and the set of her lips and brow (furrowed, like her mama’s).

 

“Mama,” Madi jogged over and tugged at Clarke’s hand, “Let’s show them home.” Clarke shifted all of her attention to Madi and smiled, brighter than Raven had ever seen. Clarke nodded and Madi waved everyone into the woods, walking so lightly that it was impossible to hear her. SpaceKru, however, sounded like a herd of elephants trampling through the forest. The Rover sat, waiting, a short distance away.

 

“It’ll be a bit of a tight squeeze, we travel with extra supplies just in case.” Clarke swung up into the front seat, turning the car on. Madi scrambled in beside her, reaching around and grabbing a few things she could hold to make room. SpaceKru squished into the back, adjusting weapons and blankets to fit all their bodies.

 

Bellamy never took his eyes off of Clarke. He glanced at everyone else when they were talking, but he always returned to her. It was hard not to stare at her. She was leaner, stronger, and clearly acclimated to this new environment. She’d had six years to make her life here, six years to grow away from Bellamy. She never had to grieve her best friend, always knew that he was alive. She’d had to mourn the loss of him, but never accept that he was dead. The reality that Bellamy had been surviving in for six years was tumbling to the ground and Raven could see the mounting guilt behind his eyes.

 

_It had been easier for the two of them to just share a room. They were leaders and more often than not would fall asleep in the same room together anyway, so why not just consolidate? And it kept any Grounder tribes from proposing marriage if they thought Wanheda was taken._

 

_The relationship shifted about three months before the ship took off. Longer nights, stressful days, and their economical arrangement of two beds separated in the same room became one larger bed pushed together. They fell asleep better when they were lying in each other’s arms. So it was natural for Bellamy to kiss her forehead when she woke up, and for her to rest her lips on his bare shoulder and wrap her arms around him after he had a nightmare. One night when she was pacing and ranting, he tugged her lips towards his and kissed her, mostly to calm her down._

 

_It was like coming home._

 

They thought they were so sneaky, hiding in corners for months and staggering arrivals. The aversion towards touching actually made everyone more suspicious, instead of less. They knew, but never said anything. And then seeing Bellamy’s pure anguish once they reached the Ring, and the devastation on his face, it was confirmed.

 

Madi leapt out of the Rover first, opening the back hatch for SpaceKru to climb out. Their home was an old Grounder settlement, with one large house and a smaller smoke house for food. A table and fire pit stood in the center, and furs were scattered around. It was clearly lived in, and loved. On the ground Raven could see the alphabet scratched out in Clarke’s clear handwriting, and then again in slightly shakier writing below that.

 

“Let’s give you the tour.” Clarke smiled slightly, holding out her hand for Madi, who used it to climb onto her mama’s back. Clarke barely reacted, just brushed Madi’s hair out of her eyes and turned her head slightly to kiss her daughter’s cheeks.

 

They walked around, showing the sleeping quarters (big enough for all of them now), smoke house (Clarke promised they’d eat soon), and Clarke’s ‘office’ (really, as Madi explained, it’s where they kept the weapons and Clarke’s sketches).

 

“Madi, go help everyone wash up. I’ll get food for dinner.” Madi deftly transferred to the ground, motioning for everyone to follow her.

 

Dinner was glorious. Fruit, meat, fresh river water, no algae in sight. Clarke and Madi ate from one plate, their fingers moving in sync and never interrupting each other.

  
Bellamy still didn’t look away. Raven wondered if he had figured it out, that the luminous young girl in front of him was his daughter, or if he was still in shock that Clarke was alive.  
  
Clarke told them about the Bunker, and how it was still covered in rubble that was impossible to move on her own. Raven immediately started thinking about what she could do next to blast the rocks off without collapsing the door. The sun began to set and they told stories of the Ark from the last 6 years, all of the misadventures they had, all of the times Monty had nearly poisoned them. Madi began to nod off against Clarke’s shoulder and she lifted her up, smiling at the group before carrying Madi to the sleeping room. SpaceKru was quiet, listening as Clarke laid Madi down and began a story.

 

Raven couldn’t hear everything, but she was fairly certain that Clarke was telling Madi about them. A story about the earth before Praimfiya, the days before they left. She made them sound like heroes. Eventually Madi asked for a lullaby, words slightly slurred as she leaned on the precipice of sleep.

 

“Goodnight, goodnight

It's time now to sleep

The moon's watching over

You and your dreams

Goodnight, goodnight

My sweet little one

Tomorrow your eyes

They will light up the sun

But goodnight, goodnight

Sweet dreams for now

 

Drift off to sleep

On your pillow of clouds

Goodnight, goodnight

My sweet little friend

Tomorrow's adventures

They will soon begin

Tomorrow's adventures

Will soon begin.”

 

Raven dared a glance through the open door, and her eyes began to well up at the sight. Clarke was stroking Madi’s hair as the young girl curled into Clarke’s stomach, one thumb in her mouth and the other hand gripping Clarke’s shirt. Clarke carefully peeled Madi’s hand off and rolled away, clearly used to this song and dance of bedtime.  
  
Clarke was made to be a mother. She had mothered the 100 until the day they left, and was fiercely protective of those she loved. Raven had never seen her more comfortable than she had when she was watching her daughter, making sure she was sleeping.

 

Clarke walked back outside, her feet so gentle against the ground that she barely made a sound. She shrugged off the jacket she was wearing and balled it up as a pillow which she used when she lay on the ground. Raven could see a new map of scars that littered her arms, some looking like radiation burns, others like claws of animals, stitched back together with her own hand. There was so much they didn’t know about her now, 6 years of life on earth they were oblivious to. Bellamy also noticed the scars and tracked them with his eyes, his frown deepening. Murphy moved to lay down next to Clarke, one hand on her wrist, as if making sure she still had a pulse. Emori tucked herself into his side. They all eventually shifted until they were lying around Clarke, protecting her in sleep as they hadn’t been able to years before.

 

Raven woke up before dawn when she realized Clarke had left, and her heart began to pound. Then she glanced around and saw her, sitting at the table, Madi on her lap. The young girl had fallen back asleep, her legs around Clarke’s waist and one hand resting on her chest. She looked so much like Bellamy when she slept, her lips slightly pouted.

 

“Doesn’t it feel weird? Her just having her hand on your boob?” Raven asked, skipping any sense of politeness. It may have been a few years but she and Clarke used to spend days complaining about periods and guys and girls so she felt it was fine to ask. Clarke chuckled and shook her head.

 

“She breastfed until about a year ago, so it’s mostly a coping thing now. But when you push a baby out of your vag and then feed her with your body for 5 years, nothing feels weird. She’s like a puzzle piece I never knew I was missing.”  
  
“Are you going to tell Bellamy?” Clarke didn’t look surprised, just smiled wanly.

 

“He didn’t even speak to me yesterday, I can’t open with ‘oh hey we have a kid’. That seems like a poor way to start a conversation.” Clarke unconsciously ran her hand down Madi’s face, tracing her nose and lips reverently.

 

“He thought you were dead until yesterday. He just needs some time.” Madi began to stir just as the sun was clearing the treetops, washing everything with a red glow. Raven saw Bellamy sit up, raising his hand to block the sun he wasn’t quite used to yet. His face softened when he looked at Clarke, her hair backlit by the sun and the light casting shadows on her face, making her look more like a warrior queen than ever. With Madi on her lap it looked like a Renaissance painting, the savior and her child.

 

“Who wants breakfast?” Clarke transferred Madi to Raven’s lap and to her great surprise Madi rested her head on Raven’s collarbone and Raven felt the feather light brush of eyelashes against her neck and breathed in the smell of her best friends daughter, adjusting her grip to cradle the weight of the girl. She was a child born of the earth, and she was strong already in a way none of them were as children.

 

“Can you tell me about mechanics? Mama tried to teach me science but all she knows is biology. She told me you knew everything about mechanics and Monty knew about chemistry.” Raven smiled and began to talk about the repairs they performed on the Ark when they first reached it, knowing that Madi wouldn’t understand most of it but the girl never interrupted her.

 

Echo and Monty began helping Clarke prepare the food, gutting fish and cleaning the scales off slowly. Raven was positive that Clarke could do it faster, but she smiled and laughed along with them as they wrinkled their noses at the unfamiliar smells. Harper came over and sat with Madi and Raven, asking Madi if she knew how to braid hair. Emori was, for some reason, up in a tree. Murphy and Bellamy were underneath the tree, clearly waiting to catch Emori if she fell.

 

They go through the rest of the day in the same fashion, resting and recuperating, spending time feeling the grass beneath their toes. It’s too soon when the night falls again, and Madi falls asleep outside while listening to Monty talk about algae purification. Soon enough everyone but Raven, Bellamy, and Clarke are fast asleep. Raven lies down, wanting to see if Bellamy and Clarke will actually manage to talk to each other.

 

“Hey.” They’re sitting next to each other on a log, hands almost touching.

 

“Hey.” Riveting.

 

“You have a beard.”

 

“You have pink hair.” Bellamy reached up and tugged at a strand of Clarke’s hair, startling a laugh out of her. The smile that stretched across his face was brighter than the morning sun.

 

His hand dropped from her hair to her chin, tracing a scar that was new.

 

“I fell and hit my chin on a rock. Nothing dramatic, just me being clumsy.” Bellamy’s lip curled up and he let his hand fall more, resting at the side of her neck.

 

“Six years…six years I thought I lost you.” His voice was raw, on the verge of tears and Clarke swung her legs around so she was facing him directly, placing one hand on his ribcage.

 

“You’ll never lose me. Even if I had died, you wouldn’t have lost me. Head and the heart, Bell. Always.” Clarke turned his face towards hers, making their eyes meet.

 

This was the Bellamy and Clarke Raven once knew.

 

“Promise?” Bellamy dropped his forehead down to hers.

 

“Pinkie swear.” Clarke held up one hand and linked their pinkies together.

 

_It was a scorcher on the ground and Bellamy and Clarke had declared a rest day. They had decided to hike to the lake nearby, bringing food for lunch and extra clothes in case people wanted to swim. Jasper had started a fire and grill, making kebabs with meat and vegetables they had harvested._

 

_Kids were jumping off the cliff into the water, the braver ones trying flips and dives. Harper, Raven, Monroe, and Clarke were resting on the shore, Monroe leaning her head on Clarke’s lap._

 

_“Princess!” Bellamy yelled from the water, causing Clarke to stand automatically, assuming the worst, “Come swim with me!”_

 

_“Don’t yell if it’s not an emergency, jackass! And I don’t swim!” Clarke sat back down, eyeing Bellamy nervously as he emerged from the water._

 

_“I’ll teach you. Not much of a leader if you can’t swim.” Clarke narrowed her eyes, not trusting him._

 

_“Pinkie swear you won’t throw me in?” She held her little finger up and Bellamy hooked his on it, smiling softly._

 

_“Pinkie swear.” She stood up and they walked, fingers still entwined, to the water. Where Bellamy didn’t throw her in, but he didn’t stop Octavia from it._

 

Raven couldn’t tell how long they sat there, foreheads and fingers resting together, both of their eyes open, just watching each other.

 

Madi breaks the silence, rolling over and yelling, causing Clarke to leap to her feet immediately, stepping around bodies until she reaches her daughter. She carefully puts one arm under Madi’s legs and the other under her head, lifting her up and holding her. Clarke rocked Madi gently, humming underneath her breath. Bellamy stood up and crossed over to them, brushing Madi’s hair back from her face.

 

“She’s wonderful.”  
  
“Yeah, I got pretty lucky.”

 

“Did her bio parents die in Praimfiya?” Raven watches Clarkes shoulders tense and she waits a beat before answering.

 

“No. Goodnight, Bell.” She carries her daughter into the tent and leaves Bellamy, standing in her wake.

 

They travel to the bunker the next day, Bellamy and Clarke still aren’t comfortable enough to talk around other people, but he watches her and she glances at him and it’s not awkward, but it’s not natural.

 

Raven tunes out of their drama once she’s standing in front of the rubble that covers the bunker, surveying the hot mess she had to fix. Madi is resting on Murphy’s shoulders as a way to see any things higher up that Raven can’t see from her level. It’ll take at least a week to figure out what to do, and the sun is beginning to set, so Clarke sketches what everything looks like, pulling the Rover over and standing on top of it to get a birds eye view. The drawings are good enough for Raven to formulate a plan off of, so she takes one rock (to see what it’s made of) and they head back home, the drive silent as they all think about their friends trapped underground.

 

As Bellamy watches Madi interact with Harper, Raven can see the wheels turning in his head, trying to discern how exactly Clarke ended up with Madi if her parents didn’t die in Praimfiya. Sometimes, it was fascinating how dense her friend was.

 

“Madi,” Clarke calls, “Time for bed my love. You’ve had a long day.” Madi protests briefly but gives up when Emori and Echo start pretending they’re extremely sleepy, making Monty and Harper follow their lead. With the idea that she won’t miss anything, Madi wraps herself around Clarke like a baby koala, eyes already starting to close. Something in the way she yawns, smiling sleepily as she says goodnight, causes Bellamy to look like he was punched in the gut. When Clarke carries Madi over to say goodnight to him, he forces a smile, eyes beginning to tear up.

 

He knows.

 

“Blake?” Murphy notices him sitting with tears streaming down his face.

  
“When she said goodnight, it was pure Octavia.” He laughs, more mournful than anything else.

 

“I know.” Murphy rests his hand on Bellamy’s back, trying to calm his friend down.

 

“I missed so much. She’s…she’s perfect, and I missed everything. Does she even know I’m her dad?”

 

“She knows.” Clarke stood at the entrance to the tent, closing it tightly, “She asked me tonight and I told her yes.”

 

Respectfully, everyone from SpaceKru (except Bellamy) goes to sit near the Rover, giving Bellamy and Clarke privacy.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

“You’re a completely different person now, I needed to decide whether or not it was in her best interest for anyone to know.”

 

“I am not a different person.” He’s angry now, fists clenched at his sides.

 

“Yes, you are. You barely spoke to me for the first two days you were here, and the Bell I know would never have done that."  
  
“The Bell you knew thought you were dead! I was suicidal for 6 months, and there were days when I just wanted to float myself because you weren’t with me. So sorry if there’s a bit of an adjustment period!” Clarke snorts, turning away before she whirls back around.

  
“You don’t think this hasn’t been hell for me? I was expecting you a full year ago! I thought you were dead for a year! And I raised our daughter on stories of you, crying all the time because she had your mannerisms and kindness and she’d never even met you! So let’s not play the game of who had the worst time when the world ended, because it’s not worth it. That girl in there has never heard a bad word about you. All she knew was that you were my heart and you were brave and you had the biggest soul of anyone I’d ever met. The first night you were here she asked what was wrong with you because you weren’t even acknowledging her or me!” They were face to face now, both silently crying, bodies tensed up as if preparing for a fist fight.

 

“Clarke…” Bellamy whispered, her name becoming a prayer on his lips.

 

“I have to go.” She stepped backwards and ran to the sleeping quarters, ducking inside before Bellamy could say another word.

 

The next day passed in a blur. Raven utilized every last iota of daylight to try to formulate a plan and never left Clarke’s office area. Echo kept her updated, so she knew it was basically a standoff between Bellamy and Clarke. Which is why she was loathe to leave and ended up flipping through Clarke’s sketches instead, the dim light of a candle her only guide.

 

They were beautiful, of course. Drawings of her swollen belly, the slight outline of a tiny foot pressing against the taut skin. A sketch of Madi, when she was a newborn and every month after. It was a stunning catalogue of all the time they missed, all the moments they couldn’t be here for.

 

“Rae?” Clarke’s voice broke her out of her reverie.

 

“You have to show him these. He…he needs to see these.” Clarke nodded, and took them from Raven’s hands.

 

“I have to put Madi to bed first. Then, then I’ll talk to him.”

 

Raven doesn’t emerge until Murphy knocks on the window, beckoning her outside.

 

“You’re going to want to see this. My fellow cockroach is finally talking with our dear leader.” They sit on the ground, glasses of Monty’s freshly made moonshine in hand, ready for the show that was Bellamy and Clarke.

 

Clarke sat on the hood of the Rover, with Bellamy standing next to her. Raven could see they were talking but was unable to make out the exact words. Clarke pulled her drawings out and handed them to him.

 

Bellamy flipped through them, fingers running over each one slowly. He turned to face Clarke, taking her hand in his. He brought her fingers to his mouth and a kissed each one, tears running down his cheeks.

 

Raven could see Clarke saying “I’m sorry” over and over again while Bellamy ran his hands over her face.

 

They rested their foreheads against each other, noses touching and eyes wide open.

 

In the morning, Bellamy paces outside nervously, waiting for Madi to wake up. When she and Clarke finally exit the tent, he drops to his knees so he’s face to face with his daughter.

 

“Madi, I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. I’m Bellamy, your dad.” He holds out his hand for her to shake and she grips it tentatively.

 

This is the start of a family, finally reunited.


End file.
